On power, a reflection after the death of Chadwick Boseman

Power seats with discomfort more than anything else, to have power, to be in power is to be able to take discomfort to the highest degree, a degree for others is unthinkable and that’s why those in power, whatever power, political, social, economical seems so high to the rest of the people (to us, to me) like something out of this world, the way in which they face the discomfort of the critique, social scrutiny, mocking and overall contempt seems so foreign to us that only certain people could do that. That’s what power gives you, that’s also what it is. That’s why (I think to myself) doubt has to be low when you are in power. That’s why when I’m very doubtful I feel more fearful and less in power. A lot of the decisions that you make are going to be disregarded, critiqued and scrutinized. Analyzed and published, distributed for everyone to see, most of these decisions are not going to pan out for decades, or maybe they will never pan out. So you can not doubt yourself to a degree where it slows you down. That’s why speed becomes important, you can not spend a lot of time making decisions when they are going to be stripped away in pieces. To be in power is to be able to sit with discomfort and in acceptance of imperfection. To a level that only high confidence in your path can give you. But, and here is the important stuff, it’s not only discomfort and imperfection of others or the world, ultimately is discomfort with yourself and what you can get from other people, what you will HAVE to get, to hear, to accept and continue. Ultimately the imperfection about yourself is the one that you have to radically accept. That’s what it means to have power. To be empowered though is more than that, is about taking the actions, making the decisions, carrying with you the love, which you already do, so it’s the ultimate belief that the love is with you, within you. That you are the love and thus the power. Power is a manifestation of love. Some people will love themselves so much that they will try to get to the highest places, but that’s a power that is not empowering, it does not give, it consumes, it looks for strength outside. When you are empowered you carry the power within. All the pursuits for power as a thing you show, as a suit you pray around as an ornament you show are futile for that is not power and the person is not empowered. Is the ego looking for an armor, shiny, showy armor. Still, looking at those people gives us a glimpse of power, giving us the illusion that they have power. Because of that illusion some people get this feeling to walk like they own the world. I have seen that walk in people who feel assured of themselves. You see, power is also to be in charge of yourself and your emotions and reactions. 

You know what power is not? It’s not about strength because strength is temporary, you can not hold strength all the time, strength is something you borrow in times of the highest challenges and tests but you can not be strong all the time, you can not hold strength all the time, you hold it and then it has to be released, it has to fly away to the next person that needs it. That’s why after great acts of strength people need to rest, to recover. Power is not confidence, you need to trust in yourself and believe in yourself to have power, to be in power, but they are not equal. So what I wish you is to feel empowered. You won’t feel it everyday, you may have days where you feel there is nowhere to draw from. Come back to yourself and remember what it is to feel empowered, remember that power is love and you will find your path again.